Beside myself.
Just frickin beside myself.
Like, who lets themselves get so large you screw your knees at 33?!
I can’t even begin to convey how disappointed I am in myself. I knew that my weight was getting pretty high and I was packing on the pounds and my clothes weren’t fitting I was feeling sluggish and I needed to take my time doing certain things around the house like chores cleaning walking whatever blah blah blah blah – I never thought I’d let myself get the to this point.
Today was pretty harsh. I knew that my weak knee (from a previous rollerblading accident) was not doing well and that my right knee had started compensating for my left knee and had started to get sore, so I had an appointment to my GP when after 2 weeks of RICE, there was no improvement at all.
So there really was no real injury to report to her. She’s like what happened? Well, what it REALLY IS – let’s just say it – is the fact that I ballooned up to almost 300 pounds in less than two years so it doesn’t feel real great Doc and I’m devastated so I need bariatric surgery, stomach stapled, liposuction ANYTHING – I’m done!
Well it’s a 3-5 year wait for bariatric surgery and I could lose the weight and more in that time, it’s a huge time commitment and the clinic is a 45 min drive from my house that I would despise- Docs not too keen on it for me! So doesn’t sound like she feels it’s a good route to go for me. She has been my family Doctor for at least 20 Years so I value her opinion.
Hard work and dedication is back where I am at and now it’s something brand new- Physio.
It will be an adventure. I was really looking forward to getting back to training, walking, running, hiking, biking and if I let this little hiccup affect me too much it can take me right out of the game! 😞
I gotta remember this is temporary.
I’m not a bad person.
I’m not gross.
I’m not disgusting.
I’m a good person.
I’m strong.
I’m loving.
I just gotta keep swimming.
Em x
Flailing with Finesse 